Congratulations on your decision to get married
Getting married is a very exciting time where two people make the decision to commit to each other for life. Marriage is a wonderful institution that has been around for thousands of years. It takes hard work to have a happy marriage. With the necessary investment from both parties, however, marriage can bring years of joy and stability to your life.
In South Africa and many parts of the world, divorce rates are very high. A lifetime commitment unfortunately sometimes only lasts a few years. Other couples have been married for decades, but have allowed their relationship to go stale. You will learn many things from this course, but the decision to put in the necessary effort into marriage can come from you alone.
Marriage is like a good speech, you judge it by its content and not its length. It is not impressive to be merely married for many years, what is impressive, is a marriage that continues to grow and develop over the decades. A marriage where the partners maintain a close emotional connection over many years is the goal. It is, therefore, not the number of years that a couple has been married, but rather the quality of their married life or the relationship in which the married couple find themselves, that is of importance.
After years of marriage counselling, we have found that there are two major challenges that surface time and again. Both of these challenges relate to EXPECTATIONS:
These are very normal challenges that can be overcome. Nobody starts off together as the “perfect fit”, but couples need to learn to adapt to each other and compliment each other. Good preparation can be instrumental in building the necessary foundation for your life together. This course will help you to think about your expectations for marriage, and help you to be aware of the needs you will have moving forward.
This course is to be done by both parties who are getting married. If one of you does it alone, it will likely create an even bigger gap in expectation. The options are as follows:
EITHER WAY, you must do the course together. Read a chapter and discuss what you have learned. Do the chapter questions either together or separately. You must, however, commit to being honest about your feelings. It is ALWAYS better to have your hopes, fears and confessions out in the open BEFORE you get married. As hard as this is, you will reap the benefits in the years to come.
HINT! Purchase a book where you can write down the questions and your answers and make notes. Use this book as a special memory in preparing for your marriage and as a guide to help you once you are married. Start by writing down what you like about each other and why you want to marry each other. This will serve as a great memory and reminder in the future.